Big Brother returned with a massive 16 contestants entering this year - and a grand total of none approaching being likeable. The twist with the fake wedding right of the bat shows what we're in for over the next 14 weeks - and I'm not a fan of it. I always thought the best BB drama develops naturally and recently its all seemed too staged with producers acting like bullfighters goading contestants into controversy to attempt to get headlines. Still, here's who entered the house last night.
Alexandra
Booed the worst on the way in. This year's Charley.
Dale
Looks a bit like Michael Carrick, was anonymous on the big occasion too - the similarities are endless.
Darnell
The Albino Pete Willett, stomped around like John Cena, also believes he is the champ - not sure of what though?
Dennis
Gay. Will not be as funny as the Big Brother show's will make out.
Jennifer
Doesn't like immigrants. I actually think producers are trying to get the show cancelled. Part time model. High class prostitute?
Kathreya
Big Brother are doing advertisers jobs for them now. Likes cookies. Really like cookies. Looks like Nancy Lam. Maryland rejoice!
Lisa
Mario pawned a watch for her boob job. She's probably done porn?
Luke
Looks like a retarded Timberlake. Was booed on the way in though people seem to have warmed to him, possibly more due to the horrific nature of everyone that came after.
Mario
Lisa's other half - They are either swingers or doggers.
Michael
Blind. Likes dressing in women's clothes, though was sporting a Beck look circa 'Loser' tonight. Maybe they told him the poncho was a dress.
Mohamed
Has a sweet 'fro. Not much else to say about him really.
Rachel
Talks a lot. Seems nice enough when she quietens down.
Rebecca
This year's sweet natured village idiot.
Rex
He's a cook so they should keep him in. Seems quite forgettable.
Stephanie
Out of the house and straight into Nuts she'll go. Sex stories will be in the papers on Sunday. Not actually that attractive.
Sylvia
Makosi version 2.0
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